home and an interesting twist

So i went home, planning on spending every moment at USF with the girls. Well I get off of the plane and have a message from James waiting for me. I end up meeting him for coffee a little later after I start laundry and sit for 5 minutes! We grab coffee and walk around downtown. (kind of funny bc David and I walked downtown after we broke up too). Anyway, he proceeds to tell me that he doesn't want me to write us off, and that he "hates to break it to me but I'm stuck with him" and that for whatever reason, and he can't explain it.. his passion lies with me and no one else. He told me how he spoke with a good friend of his as well as his grandmother and he just knows all of a sudden. I was of course delighted, but SUPER frustrated at the same time. I'm not really sure how to react to be honest. Its the whole head vs heart battle. I love him and I always have, and never stopped--but I don't want to get hurt or look foolish. I don't want to answer a million questions and feel like people are judging the situation. I know I have to live my life, and make decisions for myself, but it's just so hard. Tara told me she's always one for second chances--as am I. I mean, trying again with David was the best thing for us in that situation. It answered a lot of questions and I'll never have the "what if's".

James is a charmer, and I can't stop smiling when we're together. I mean, this is just a journey--and it's just beginning. I am not coming home in February which is helpful to let things between us slowly work themselves out. I mean, if I was home, my heart would have jumped right in.. and my head would have fought it, and it would have been awkward and messy! This is in some ways a good thing. I'm interested to see what the future holds. I mean, some things will have to be different if there is any hope for us. We always were amazing in person though.. so my fingers are crossed! I am still in control of my life, and I'm proud of the person I am becoming. This job has been an amazing experience and I've learned a lot about myself and I'm a lot stronger than I once believed. I never want to lose that.

Anyway i'm going to try and go to bed at a decent hour tonight. <3 ya

Emory was a success!

I have thoroughly enjoyed my Emory experience. This visit could have been a disaster--because originally all I wanted was to be with the Zeta Zeta girls...and mourn the death of one of the most memorable sisters I've met on the road, Kristen.

Firstly, thank the lord I was able to see Maggie and Lexi--that definitely helped.

The Sisters at Delta Alpha have been amazing. They are so fun and full of energy--it's been a great experience. They did the cutest thing for bid day. They did karaoke and did ADPi idol. It was SOOO fun!

Also-side note-- I was talking to Meagan from IU (Beta Alpha) and she told me that the girls sent ZZ a card and they took a pic of the chapter all wearing purple and sent it with it. HOW F-ing sweet is that. It truly touched me--and it shows how much love is in our organization. The
Sisterhood in ADPi is undeniable and something I have really witnessed! It's also neat--because they are 2 of my chapters--and i feel like i made a difference by bridging the gap between chapters.

Okay--I have super sleep issues. I never can fall asleep! I've been going to bed soooo late. I go home tomorrow! YAY USF! By the way--i have a GGGG and GGG to meet. (Great, great, great grand & great great grand). I'm SOOO old! lol I can't wait to see my Epsilon Lambda Sista's! It's been too long! I'm sleeping at the house and everything! A true experience, lol. Not like I don't do it literally every day of my life!

I have SO many wonderfully exciting visits coming up! Northern Illinois to lead a few workshops, Longwood (my mom's Chapter---craziness!), my favorite Theta Delta's for an amazing recruitment, DLC 6 with Tara in Cali, Cal State Santa Barbara, D3 dlc---yes! That's all I know for now!!!!!

I can't believe this job is going by SO fast. :(

Love you sisters!!

Fave visits-- Augusta State (ZZ), Theta Delta (u of Del), ASU (Arizona), Cal State Chico, Emory, Indiana University, (BA), bucknell install with stef!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... i mean lets be real, all of my visits have been fabulous! I have been extremely lucky! I hope the rest of the semester is as great as it's been! <3 you all!

Delta Alpha--Emory University

Okay, so I'm at Emory--the girls have been wonderful! They are sweet and always say hello and chat with me.. even when they don't have to! Today was skit round--and they did America's next top ADPi... it was presh! I loved it. The girls are really funny. I can't tell who my favorite characters were--Tyra and Janice probable! I was dying laughing every round. They did a great job ad libbing so it was a little more fresh! Everything was going great until their advisor came. She was super condescending and it just put me in an awkward place. Idk--just dumb. I want life to be enjoyable. I'm still dealing with the death of Kristen and I haven't given myself a ton of downtime--none in fact... unless you count the plane ride here.

The advisor just made me sad--there's no other word to use. O well, tomorrow is a new day!

This morning I went to starbucks with Maggie--old prez of ZZ (augusta state). It was WONDERFUL seeing her! We talked about Kristen and the chapter--and it was nice to talk about it--without it being sad or too much. Tomorrow I'm going to brunch with Lexi and Maritess--which I'm also SUPER excited about! I don't know what it is about those ZZ girls--but they did become like family to me during my visit there.

My heart goes out to all of them... btw I can't seem to sleep. It's 330 am--i went to bed at 3 last night too..... why can't i unwind?! o bc that's alone quiet time ...

Miss you Kristen...OBIC

Beta Psi 9\(UK) visit and Zeta Zeta (AugSU) News

My visit at UK was SO short but it was nice. The girls were fun and it was neat to hear about their stories and the stuff they do on campus. Their recruitment sounds like a blast--wish i could actually experience it. The visit is a blur--but I got a lot of information on grad school and had fun walkin on campus! I had fun hangin with Laura--the new pres! lol

My last night of the visit I was hangin out with Laura in the kitchen and I got a call from Marcy--Zeta Zeta's advisor and got some awful news. Kristen Thompson, FVP of ZZ, died...

I still haven't fully let it sink in yet.. It's sad and awful. She was an amazing young woman and touched the lives of many during her time here on earth. I flew to AtL today to visit Emory--which is like 2 hours away MAX from Augusta. I would give anything to be at ASU right now with my girls. It is literally taking every amount of effort to not lay in bed--and cry. I feel the tears come on during the most awk times--and then i just suck them back in.
I'm not suppose to be sad... I'm suppose to be here to help. I get that. I'm at a school for formal recruitment where our chapter is in the top tier... i don't NEED to be here and it's frustrating. I want to grieve her death too--and i don't know when or how i'm suppose to do that...
AHHHHHH I could cry right now. O wait, i have to go to dinner with the emory girls. YAY.. today my motto is "fake it til you make it"... maybe if i smile long enough or laugh hard enough--it will all just go away.

Phi---Hanover College

So, to tell you the truth--I wish I was still at Beta Alpha. I am not really doing anything for Phi. There hasn't been any sort of spark between us--and I just hate not being effective. I'm trying--and I'm sick--and I just feel guilty. I had an amazing visit with BA and I was expecting the same thing here. I mean, this is Jackie's chapter. I was expecting instant chemistry--like Maryland (Stef and Tara's chapter)--and it's not.

I don't know what to do, other than keep trying of course. It's pref day--and their return rate yesterday was 20% higher than the last year which is great!

I have been able to catch up on some of my sleep which has been helpful--but I'm still super congested which isn't ideal.

I'm going out to dinner with Matt tonight which should be fun... fun to get away for a little bit!

That's all for now.
<3 ya all!

So proud of Beta Alpha!!

Okay, I don't even know where to begin regarding my visit with the lovely Sisters of Beta Alpha.

Let me start by giving you some background on this Chapter and Indiana University.

IU doesn't have the traditional total/quota system. Our women last year had 12 alphas last year (4-5 of them being snap bids.) This year they were hoping for 15!

We had a phenomenal week of recruitment. These women were postitive, knew what they were selling, and kept up the energy and enthusiasm all week. We had many special moments together--one being after a long day of parties. We sat there and loved on each other and said all of the positive things about the day. It turned into this huge thing about what makes ADPi at IU so special. Needless to say--they did a fabulous job!

They had a 71%, 78% 83% return rates through out the rounds--which is CRAZY! They matched with 65 women on bid day! 65-- 6---5!! This is the largest alpha class they've had in over 70 years. They created history--and I was lucky enough to witness this very special moment! I couldn't be more proud! These women made me feel so at home--and I really am hoping to go back. They are such a mixed group and I <3 them all!

O i forgot to mention, they have 54 deltas!! lol I wrote them a little manual on how to deal with doubling your chapter size! I'm not going to lie, I think it was good! I feel like a proud little momma watchin her kids go off to school. They can handle this new and exciting challenge and I couldn't think of a more deserving Chapter!


They are SUPERSTARS in ADPi right now lol. Everyone keeps telling me what a wonderful job i did--and i want everyone to know--THEY did this all on THEIR OWN!

I helped with bid day--since bid day was planned for around 15 alphas! lol But that's it! These women deserve every ounce of credit!

I <3 you all Beta Alpha!

Recruitment!!!

I'm SICK!

Beta Alpha--Indiana University

I arrived at Beta Alpha today with a current temperature of 15 degrees. It's not miserable to tell you the truth! I enjoyed my ride in with Katie. She seems nice! I attended a meeting and then everyone broke for dinner. No one took me along so luckily Tara visited here last semester and was able to tell me where the kitchen was! I had a nice healthy bowl of cheerios:( I grabbed an apple for later, lol.

I am not losing hope in the Beta Alpha Chapter by any means. I understand recruitment is a stressful and tiresome time! Hopefully my night gets better, since we'll be up for the next couple of hours! lol Yay for travel days that lead into long nights! Recruitment never changes! No matter where you go, it's a lot of work, and little rest! I <3 ADPi and I <3 recruitment time!